I’ll be the first one to easily admit that I have troubles in the romance department. I’m not the most socially viable individual, and I will admit, I’m a bit shallow. I’ve always been that guy with the hot friend, and not the dude with the hot GIRLFRIEND (big difference).
I love women, I love being around women, I love being friends with women, but I haven’t had a real relationship with a woman. EVER.
The last person I sort of dated is now a pornstar, and honestly, I feel like I had my opportunity and didn’t take it. I’ve been told by people ever since we kind of, sort of broke up that she wanted to jump my bones something fierce. I guess my personality was so great, and I was so nice, that she didn’t care about what I looked like. I’m not the most handsome son of a bitch in the world, but I’m certainly good enough for a one night stand, if only that.
Most girls put me in the “Friend Zone” before they even give me a chance. Yes, I talk about movie, games, music, etc., but that doesn’t mean I’m not well versed in other things. I get excited because I am a passionate person, I like putting effort into everything I do, and as of this moment, I have nothing to show for it, but I will one day. I’m taking action to change my life right now as I know that I cannot handle the personal burdens that have effected me for so long, and I just want a change.
I don’t even know if I really want a relationship as much I want some companionship. I’ve been alone almost my whole life, and despite having good friends, they sometimes just don’t fill the void I have in my system. In a sense, I guess I’m admitting that I’ve never HAD a relationship. Like, ever. It’s not easy to say, and I don’t like saying it at all, but it’s something I have to deal with in a long list of bullshit that I’ve had to deal with for years.
With my life in shambles right now, it’s really hard to figure out what I want, and how I want it. I don’t have a lot of options open to me, and most people don’t readily get me right away. What I really need is for someone to come along and help me, because it’s the only way I’ll achieve what I want. I’m not organized, I don’t have control over most things, but when I do, my subconscious takes over, and it becomes second nature.
This post is less of a plea than it is just trying to comprehend why I struggle with everything so much, and why I can’t really go forward like I want to. It sucks, I want change, and I want more. I pray that something, or SOMEONE comes along and shows me what I’ve been missing.
I find myself in a rather shitty position right now with my personal life, but something that has never diminished is my ability to absorb information like a sponge. I never really went to college, and I’ve pretty much taught myself everything I need to know with having to go. I’ve always been a naturally gifted writer and creative thinker, but I wonder if this is by choice, or if my subconscious makes me do this just naturally.
This self exploration has always been something I have done with my time through meditation and respect for the world around me. The Buddhists are heavy believers that you should focus on improving yourself, and others will improve with you. This focus allows them to take out what they deem unnecessary to their lives and just boil it down to the basics. Anyone can be a Buddha, but you can only be a Buddha if you are someone who is self-aware.
Rub my belly. It will bring you luck! Promise!
What I think is the most important factor is that we all have our separate areas of interest in our daily lives. I love to write, I play games, watch movies, and listen to music, and this all culminates in myself in the shoes I’m in now. That being said, My sister is a master of economics like my Dad, and I’m more like my Mom, as she once had writing aspirations. So my sister and I are related by blood, but not by conscience in this way. We think differently, act differently, but are both equally intelligent in unique subjects, her leaning more towards Math, and myself towards Writing and Entertainment.
So the question remains, are we born intelligent, or do we adapt intelligence as we progress? I happen to believe it’s a combination of both. Without this, people never fully develop, and remain in a childlike state forever. I like to call them “Fools” or “Morons”. When it comes down to it, if you find something you like or want, you should do it, and learn to do it well (excluding Sex, Drugs, etc. [Even though they’re fun]).
Everything is a learning experience, so always keep your eyes peeled for what happens next, and you’ll go far.
Recently, I’ve had an addiction to Halo: Reach so bad that you could beat me with a stick and I probably wouldn’t notice. Videogames are a dominant force in my life, like crack for a crack addict. This self medication sometimes causes gamers like myself to get bored of things very quickly (that and our ADD).
So that being said, what causes our constant search for more? Is it because games aren’t innovative enough anymore? Or is it because we become exhausted by all the constant flashing images that we see?
First, we have to start with the basics: Most games at the moment are First Person Shooters. The market is saturated with them from head to toe. Everyone wants the next Halo, or Call of Duty, and games in the genre are constantly compared to them because they set the bar so high.
Tell me you wouldn’t want to play this?
Second: We have to look at the system factor. Most people today own a Wii, that for the most part, sits unused. The more popular systems for gamers are fully online integrated, and most people play on them all the time. The Xbox 360 has been around for 5+ years, and the Playstation 3 for 4. I have invested thousands of dollars for games, hardware, and premium membership, and I don’t want to have to shell out more money for shit that isn’t good. With the Wii, you can sell crap games and make huge profits because no one gives a fuck about it, and most publishers are willing to do it in order to make money.
Why did Mom have to buy me Hannah Montana, and get him Super Mario Galaxy 2?
Which brings us to our Third and final reason: It’s mostly about the money. Most game publishers could give less than a crap about what the people want, it’s about what they want, and what they want is MONEY, and A LOT of it. Take it from me, I worked for a major game company a while back, and both games I was working on were crap sequel games, one for a movie, and one that was a spin-off. They both sold mediocre, but they both made back most of the money they spent on them because they didn’t really have a big budget, and were established brands. People, for one reason or another, like seeing more of the same. Videogame companies turn this concept into pure profit, and is the main reason why we have another Just Dance game and Tony Hawk Ride.
This is still more awesome.
All in all, it’s everyone’s fault the game industry is fucked up. You have gamers on one side asking for new content, you have consumers buying more shovelware, and the publisher’s want to make more money. It’s not going to stop anytime soon, and until someone figures out a better idea, I guess I’ll go back to playing Halo.
Hi everyone! My name is Henry, and you’ve probably all seen my twitter account (@Seven16) if you’re reading this. I love movies, videogames, music, television, pretty much anything entertainment. I’m a 22 year old dude living in LA just trying to make it in Hollywood like every other sod out there.
I love writing, and I love meeting new individuals that have similar belief systems (anyone with an open mind and a sense of humor). I like talking about current events, and I’m always up to the minute on any news regarding entertainment, and I’m considered a GURU by some.
I am also a former game tester from Activision and worked on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: The Videogame for both PS3 and X360, as well as Band Hero for the PS3. I was the lead multiplayer tester and lead progression guitarist on the projects respectively.