Happiness is a Warm Gun
Wow, what an epic week.
I had so much great stuff happen to me, I can’t even think!
Let me break it down;
So I started the week relatively keen on things going forward, not knowing if it was all going to work out, but towards the end, it just got better and better.
You see, I’ve been talking with this girl for a little while, who I will not name, and I finally got the balls to take a chance and ask her out. We’d been flirting a lot in Text messages, talking on the phone, and Facebook, so I knew it was heading in a good direction, but I was still kind of unsure whether she had any kind of attraction to me. In fact, I actually didn’t know how I felt about her either, but something drove me forward… There was something about her I couldn’t put my finger on. I got this weird feeling when I was around her, not necessarily love, infatuation, or anything like that, just kind of a neutral feeling. It intrigued me, and still intrigues me, hence the main reason why I pursued it. She’s very pretty, but that’s besides the point. I like talking to her. You have NO IDEA how important that is to me. Someone that can not only keep up, but has just as much to say as I do, if not more. I never feel bored when I’m talking to her, like I know exactly what I want, or need to say at anytime. Being comfortable with someone I barely know is often rare for me since I was backstabbed so many times by people in the past, but I know she isn’t like that.
So anyway, the week continued forward as usual, with me getting a bit busy, and then un-busy. It was quite normal. Wednesday was really good, having impressed my teachers and peers with my knowledge of cinema, and my work ethic to do the best I possibly can. As you all know, I take it very seriously, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t also like to have fun. I care about the cinematic art, but I’m not stuck up towards other people’s opinions. Everyone likes different kinds of movies, and I pride myself in trying to watch as much as I can. I hate bad movies, sure, but some bad movies are particularly great because they show exactly what NOT to do when making a film. One person may enjoy visuals more than storytelling, and vice versa, while another one is only concerned with the music… In the end, it’s all up to interpretation, and that’s why I love movies so much. I want to do things my way, and I want to inspire as I have been inspired. I’m not about making money, though money is obviously important. If I do something, it’s because I WANT to do it. I’m learning that at the end of the day, you have to take in some opinions and criticism, and learn to be self-critical if you want to make it in this business.
Anyway, so Thursday rolls around, and I get up later than usual. Granted, my classes this quarter are mostly at night time, but I’ve been trying to keep on an even keel with my dieting and sleep habits in order to stabilize my system. I ate a protein bar, drank some Emergen-C, and hopped in the shower. Not 10 minutes after I get out of the shower, the girl calls me, asking me a question! She has 2 snakes, including a baby one, and she wanted to know what kind of mouse she needed to get. We talked for a little bit, and I had to cross-reference online to make sure I was right (which I was), and then the conversation was over. As usual, I started to overthink how it ended, with the typical ‘Time-to-beat-yourself-up-about-something-that-doesn’t-matter’ spiel as I was preparing for class. Not 20 minutes later, she texts me and we talk again. I was really happy to hear from her obviously, but she made me legitimately laugh too, and that really solidified that she enjoyed talking to me, as much as I her.
Later on that night, like 1am, I got a Facebook message from a friend of mine, a Directing major at the school. He asked “Are you good at writing Horror?”, to which I replied, “I’ve never done it, but I’m willing to try.” We talked for a little bit, and he asked me if I would touch up the script for the project he’s about to go into production on. I was so shocked, humbled, and flattered, as I have never been given an opportunity to actually write something that is being MADE other than stuff I’ve written myself. I already have ideas, though I haven’t necessarily gotten started(I’m starting tonight), but I am SO excited. I’m not too nervous because the director and I see eye to eye, and I know what’s important to a good story. I have full confidence that I will deliver on what he asks, as I do not want to mess with a good thing.
Friday was awesome. I got ready for my date with the girl, as I was not sure what time it was going to be at. I feel that planning a day is better than planning a specific time or place because spontaneity is something I really enjoy rather than worrying about what I’m going to be doing. I’m always up to try new things, and go new places, so when people hit me up, I don’t try to have a plan. I called her, and she said she wanted to go get some pancakes(despite it being close to 3pm), so off we went to the local IHOP. Though we ate, we talked more than anything, and I savored every moment of it. It felt like we talked forever, and about numerous things. Experiences, life, things we liked about ourselves, things we didn’t like about ourselves. I learned so much about her, and it only made me want to know even more! We only saw each other for an hour or two, but it was more than enough. It only assured me that I really, REALLY liked talking to this girl, and I was more than content in just doing that. Sure, we have many opposites, but there are key things we have in common that really drive it forward. Even with all this being said, I’m not going to force anything at this point. The slower, the better. I’m learning about her, and she’s learning about me. Like I’ve said, I really like talking to her, and that is so BEYOND important, you have no idea.
Last night was cool too, though it had a rough start. I went to this part for a friend of mine which ended up mostly being a bunch of drunk, rowdy, horny teenagers in a furnace. I’m not a fan of the typical High School House Parties. I like a more casual, laid back atmosphere where, yes, you can have a lot of people, but there aren’t as many hormones going around. At one point, a guy came up to me wielding a very sharp knife, pointing it directly at my stomach in a drunken haze. I did not panic, but it was a little frightening nonetheless. Needless to say, after they played N***as in Paris twice in a row, then stopping the music entirely, I was done with it.
I left after about an hour or so, having decided to join my friends for a pseudo-after party. THAT was fun. I love talking to my friends, as they are all really interesting, cool people. I felt like it was the first time they got to see me in a way that I was not only comfortable with, but I was happy about. Sure, it was small, and there wasn’t too much going on, but that’s what made it so great. You don’t need a big party for a party to be fantastic, it’s the quality of people that makes it so great, and my friends are of very high caliber and quality, let me assure you.
After playing a few games of ‘Pass the Popcorn’, it was late, and I decided to head back home. I walked back with my two friends (who are a couple and are AWESOME), and one of them suggested we should drive through Del Taco. Needless to say, at 3am with a little alcohol in my belly, I was more than game. I suggested we get the Fiesta Pack, which they had never tried before, and so we did. Car rides are so fun when you have people with you that have such great, varying, and interesting opinions, and after ordering the food, we were all really happy.
We got back, ate about a 1lb and a half each, and called it a night. Yesterday was great, as everything seemed to just click after a certain point.
So here I am, typing this, drinking a Monster, and telling you about how great things are for me right now. I have honestly been fighting back tears for the past few days because I feel like everything is just getting so much better, and so much more stable than ever before. I don’t know if I’m bringing it into my life, but I have not been this legitimately happy for years. I feel so blessed that things are going so well, and I cherish it because I know it could change at any time. I haven’t let my guard down, but I am pumping the brakes, and it’s definitely adding more quality to my life.
I personally want to thank you all for reading my posts as well. Without your support, I would have not had the courage to really say what I feel on here without being ridiculed. You have no idea how much it means when I get a compliment, or a comment, or even a like! It only makes me want to keep doing what I’m doing, and not worry so much. In fact, I think that’s what’s happening.
Madrigal Mystery Tour
I am on a journey to the center of my being.
Things are changing, my thoughts are changing, and people’s understanding of me is changing. I play hard, but I work harder. I have a constant gameface, and I’m always prepared at a moment’s notice. I am becoming more and more the man I hoped I would be one day.
That’s not to say I’ve peaked, but I’m just starting to hatch out of my cocoon. I’ll be a butterfly soon, and then nothing will stop me.
I don’t know what’s truly brought upon this great feeling of happiness as only a few weeks ago, I was in such an enormous rut. Now I feel like the world is at my fingertips.
This morning, I checked my grades for this past summer and was utterly shocked. I got 2 A-s and a B+ when I expected maybe 2 Bs and a C. Not only did I exceed my expectations, I surpassed them beyond what I had hoped. My Mom said it was because I’m where I need to be right now, and this was meant to be, but I am still shocked by this seemingly indelible set of circumstances.
My ego is not eased by this as I still have a long road ahead. As I wrote on Facebook, “I would pat myself on the back, but I’d rather just keep doing the best I can.”
No time like the present.