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Heavy Burdens
President’s Day. A holiday that’s pretty fuckin’ whatever in the scope of things. It does celebrate 2 great men in History though.
I finally finished my essay thing for the application to a Film School. Something I had put off for a little while until I figured out something good enough to write. I did, and it’s almost ready for submission.
I am ready for this. But I feel stress.
When I was in my late teens, I wanted to be a success story. I wanted to be a famous actor/write/rockstar/director guy, and I still did until I came to the conclusion it was a fairytale. Fairy tales do happen, but they come at a price, and they come with hard work and sacrifice. I wanted my dreams to come true when I was young. Now it seems, they’re farther away than I had hoped, even if they are achievable.
I thought I would be doing some shit by now, but it ended up not working out the way I wanted. Life got in my way. I had to learn. I wasn’t ready.
Now that I’m ready, my excitement is masked by anxiety that THIS IS HAPPENING. It’s the thing I’ve wanted, and it’s in my grasp, but it’s impossible to know if things will work out if I don’t try.
I want this. I NEED this.
Time to grow up.
- H