Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs aka Dig ‘Em the Frog is my best friend
Been a long time.
Let’s get down to business, shall we?
I have been at my school almost 2 years now, not stopping. It’s amazing how quickly time passes. Sometimes, I forget I’m alive, other days, I can’t feel more alive. It really depends on the mood, and some of the lighting.
I’ll be honest though, I’ve been tired for a while now. I haven’t stopped going to school, and have had almost no real breaks from any of my work. I love it here, and I’m happy, but the problem is that I have a crap ton of major work I have to do before I proceed to the next step. After finishing this quarter, I will have 3 quarters of classes I will have to take, on top of having to prepare my first real major endeavor; my Thesis project. I also have no idea what I want to write/direct for my Directing 2 class, AND I have to start writing my feature. I have a plan, you see, a plan to try and make myself stand out from the crowd, not that I don’t already. I just have to be keen on what I’m trying to make, because based on it, I could possibly get a REAL JOB directing a film. It has to be good though, REAL GOOD, and I don’t want to rush that.
I’m truly very tired. It’s not easy trying to coupe with all these different things going on in my head. I still don’t have a girlfriend, and I finally came out with that on Facebook. The response was that everyone already knew, which kind of made me feel like shit. I just felt like I was beating around the bush I guess. It’s not easy talking about stuff like that. Everyone asks me about it. Hell, the Gay Hairdresser who cut my hair today said, “We’ll get you a girlfriend.” It’s the last thing I want to think about, but one of the biggest things on my mind.
I was driving a friend to Chinatown earlier, talking about this, and he said that myself being in a relationship, or finding validation in others, is not the key to happiness, and I totally agree. But my problem is that I have NO IDEA what being in a relationship is like. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I don’t think I’m looking for validation as much as I’m looking for confidence. I already follow the beat of my own drum, but in that department, I’m still having a lot of trouble. It’s really the only thing left as far as what I could want in my life right now. Alas, it is not meant to be, as I have tried, but I have failed, at least for the moment. I suppose my day will come sooner than later, but being almost 25 is a bitch. To me, it’s humiliating. I know that a lot of people have died not ever experiencing feelings for another, but I’m not one of those people.
Anyway, back to the main part of this: my break. I’m taking a quarter off this coming spring, a period of roughly 3 months or so, give or take. In this time, I plan on doing 3 separate things:
Get back on a diet, exercise, and lose weight
Write my scripts every day
Move out of my current apartment into new digs
The last one is particularly important because the place I live in now has turned into a real shithole since I moved here. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been more disgusted by its state than usual, and that’s saying something.
But yes, finally, I have accepted that I need to get my shit together, again. I guess everything happens in cycles, and that’s fine by me. I just wish that I could have gotten a kick in the ass sooner. Hopefully, my break will be the respite I need to keep on trekking.
I know y’all like my writing, but I think that I might take a break for a while with these types of posts. I’m probably going to stick more to funny/cool pictures with witty responses like I always do. That being said however, I do like to write, so I’m sure the occasional post will come up here and there.
Well, that’s all for now. I hope the New Year has been treating you well so far.
Oh, hows I loveses my literature. It’s so interesting!
I’ve been reading a lot more lately, which is interesting. I normally read a ton because I’m online, and I’m a writer of sorts, and because I like magazines, but I don’t normally read books. Well, I’ve been reading The Hunger Games, and it’s pretty damn good. It’s fast, not boring, and has my attention. That’s usually a problem with Books and I, I’m so ADD about them. I just can’t find myself grabbing them unless they have some kind of interesting niche. I guess examples are what I like are Palaniuk, Christopher Moore, Seth Grahame-Smith… I like funny sci-fi/fantasy stuff. The last book I TRULY finished was Slaughterhouse Five, and that was almost 2 years ago.
Granted, I own quite a number of books, and to be honest, most of them I haven’t read. Reading is like that things on my back saying, “I’ll get around to it.” or “I’ll do it later.” I feel guilty about it, but I spend a lot of time playing video games and watching movies. Obviously, that’s fine because I’m still absorbing information, just in a different medium. However, not being able to understand certain tropes of literature would be difficult if one becomes uninvolved with the time they’re in.
In the past, I read Shakespeare, Poe, Lovecraft, but I was most interested in stories about young men looking for themselves. For a long time, Holes was one of my favorite books, as well as The Giver. They were really inspiring, dark stories that I could relate to. As I’ve gotten older, I appreciate when someone can write ‘fuck’ in a book, movie, or videogame and not have it just be another curse word. Tarantino managed to make the use of the word ‘Fuck’ an artform in Pulp Fiction.
My school is going well. Out of the 14 classes I took this past year, I got 11 As. The other 3 were B+s. Not to shabby, Young Master Abrams.
I’m out of thoughts, so till next time; Whatever.
Madrigal Mystery Tour
I am on a journey to the center of my being.
Things are changing, my thoughts are changing, and people’s understanding of me is changing. I play hard, but I work harder. I have a constant gameface, and I’m always prepared at a moment’s notice. I am becoming more and more the man I hoped I would be one day.
That’s not to say I’ve peaked, but I’m just starting to hatch out of my cocoon. I’ll be a butterfly soon, and then nothing will stop me.
I don’t know what’s truly brought upon this great feeling of happiness as only a few weeks ago, I was in such an enormous rut. Now I feel like the world is at my fingertips.
This morning, I checked my grades for this past summer and was utterly shocked. I got 2 A-s and a B+ when I expected maybe 2 Bs and a C. Not only did I exceed my expectations, I surpassed them beyond what I had hoped. My Mom said it was because I’m where I need to be right now, and this was meant to be, but I am still shocked by this seemingly indelible set of circumstances.
My ego is not eased by this as I still have a long road ahead. As I wrote on Facebook, “I would pat myself on the back, but I’d rather just keep doing the best I can.”
No time like the present.
There and Back Again: A Hobbit’s Tale
I know I don’t post as often as I used to on here, but honestly? If you can’t see I’m busy, then you obviously don’t have a life. I cannot possibly fill your void as well as mine all the fucking time. I’m only human! Well, MOSTLY human.
Anyway, all joking aside, I’m doing incredibly well. I just found out I got straight A’s for my first semester at Hogwarts, er, I mean, Film School. I’m working on 3 summer school classes, all of which are more difficult than the 4 I took before. Good stress is better than no stress I guess as deadlines have to be met, and I can only work as hard as I can, when I can.
I am passionate about Film, more than I am passionate about just anything(except for anything related to sex and weed), but given my knowledge I suppose it is not so surprising. It’s hard to describe in words how it feels to me when I watch a film, how I can break it down into such minute detail, how I let them wash over me, and guide me along. I didn’t have many friends when I was younger. I was always an outsider, gifted but weird. When I put on movies on the TV with old school VHS tapes, I was transported away to another world, a place of wonder. Time seems elongated, everything is possible, and the mind’s eye wanders. I suppose you could say that films have always been my friends. They were there for me in my darkest days when not a soul could understand my torment. I felt connected, and that I was not alone.
Isolationism is a very difficult and strenuous thing, yet I deal with it on a constant basis. I suppose that because I don’t fit in with society’s “standards”, I’ll never be like everyone else. Good, because I don’t want to. I am Henry, and that’s the only person I need to be, and if people don’t like me, they don’t have to deal with me. This is how I am, and I only change if I want to change. Sometimes, I wish I could give you all more details of why I feel the way I do, but it’s such a difficult story to describe in words. I plan on writing and making a film about it one day, when I am healed, but for now, guessing is your best option.
What’s up y’all.
I’m tired. The first week of class was great, but waking up 3 days at 7:30, getting over a cold, and smoking weed, has worn me the fuck out.
I got my first couple of assignments including doing a scene from a movie, and writing a letter trying to sell myself. This is what Hollywood is all about.
Some of my classmates want to be Directors, other want to be Actors, Producers, and Editors. I know what I want, and it seems as though I fit in perfectly with this crowd. It’s too bad I haven’t seen any new movies lately. I wanted to see Rango, Paul, and a bunch of other ones, but I was distracted. It sucks not being able to watch them for another few months till they’re out on DVD/Blu-Ray, but there’s still plenty of old movies I haven’t seen. I do plan on seeing Your Highness and Hanna in the next few days, but other than that, there’s nothing in particular that I want to see until next month.
So my passions again dictate my actions. Not such a bad thing, but too much passion can cause abrupt and unhinged thought processes. Maybe I should lay off the weed for a little while.
“I just want to tell you, Good Luck. We’re all counting on you.”
Sorry for my absence. I have been busy moving, getting ready for school, etc.
I will post a blog when I am settled, but for now, I need some space.
This isn’t good-bye, this is just the beginning of something new, and responsibility I cannot deny.
What can I say? I’m only human.